Graduation = Profile Review
I know several young women and men graduating from high school and college this year. In today’s world one of the best and most useful pieces of advice a graduate can receive is to review and clean up her social networking profiles. Although it may appear to the Millennials and Gen Texters that folks from older generations don’t have the tech skills or the interest to check them out online, your need to understand that not only will future employers look you up to see what they find but that what an employer finds online will very likely come into play when making a hiring decision. If you seem like a chronic complainer, a late-night party goer, a foul-mouthed hot head, a sickly slacker, or a whiny troublemaker, you’re hurting your chances of finding a job.
If you don’t think that’s fair… too bad. That is life in the 21st Century. The technology that makes connecting with others and expressing ourselves so easy also makes it easy for employers to determine if you would be an employee they want on their payroll.
Here are a few tips to help create an online image that makes you look professional and hire-worthy:
- Lock down your privacy settings so only friends can see your posts and photos
- Yet, that’s not enough – photos and posts that seem anything other than positive, friendly, professional and/or family-friendly should be deleted
- While your adjusting those privacy settings, consider not allowing others to tag your or check you in – don’t let your hard work at cleaning up your profile be undone by your friends
- Build a simple website that highlights your education, skills, volunteerism, etc. and shows why you’ll make a great employee (register some variation of yourname.com as the URL)
- Create a LinkedIn profile to showcases your education and experience
If all that sounds like too much trouble, take a moment to daydream about working at a minimum wage job… now, daydream about working at professional job in a field that interests you. If you like the looks of of the second daydream better, take the time to prepare yourself online and offline to achieve that goal.
Happy New Year 2012!
Find more inspiration at the Einstein Archives Online
5 ways to get more of what you want done
I was looking at my calendar today and it occurred to me that there are some tasks I assign myself that I really don’t want to do. You could call it simple procrastination, but I began to wonder why we all sometimes willingly take on projects that really don’t thrill us; consequently, we end up procrastinating or simply defaulting on the task. I’ve come up with five reasons I believe that I (and probably you) do this and some ways to overcome these obstacles to personal productivity and fulfillment.
- The problem: Feelings of inadequacy. This may be especially common if it’s a task that requires us to stretch our abilities. We worry that we’ll fail or look like fools. We’re not sure we have the skills or the smarts to successfully complete the task.
The solution: We can take several steps to overcome these unjustified feelings of inadequacy. First, review past successes and confirm your ability to perform at the required level. Second, acquire whatever tools or skills we need to complete the task. Third, break the task down into smaller steps and tackle them one by one.
- The problem: Lack of interest. We don’t want to do it and can’t figure out why we ever thought we wanted to do it.
The solution: Decide if the task is important enough that it should be completed. If it’s not, take if off the to-do list and never think about it again. If it does have some value consider these options: 1) delegate it to someone else; 2) hire a sub-contractor; 3) find a way to automate the task so you have to deal with it less often; 4) barter with someone—you take on one of her tasks and she takes on one of yours.
- The problem: Misplaced priorities. We know we need to do the task; we know the project is important; we want to complete it. However, we keep finding other things that siphon away our fixed hours in a day, and the task just sits there on our to-do list staring up at us waiting for us to get it done.
The solution: Setting milestones works wonders for keeping your priorities on track; give yourself deadlines and work toward them on a daily basis. I find that setting timers on my phone to remind me when it’s time to work on particular tasks is helpful, but you can use any method that keeps you focused on what’s important at that moment.
- The problem: Unrealistic expectations. Despite my love of the Alicia Keys song “Superwoman,” that fact is I can only do so many jobs in a day. It’s so tempting to look at our calendars and start scheduling ourselves from morning to night with all kinds of interesting activities. And then it’s too bad we end up procrastinating and making excuses when we can’t meet all those obligations.
The solution: Schedule the mundane first. Yep, I said it. Schedule the cooking, the cleaning, the bathing, the dog walking, the date night, the dinner hour, and every other common, but oh-so important activity first. Once we have a grip on how much “real” time we have for all those other interesting tasks we’ll be less likely to jam them into our calendars only to put them off when we’re overwhelmed.
- The problem: Saying yes when we should say no. This issue is last, but it could be first because I believe it is often the root cause of all four preceding problems: 1) We feel inadequate because we say yes when we know we aren’t really up to the task. 2) We lack interest because we say yes out of politeness instead of interest. 3) We get our priorities out of whack by by saying yes to Angry Birds instead of working on that project. 4) And we set unrealistic expectations when we say yes to every promising activity that crosses our paths.
The solution: It’s a simple solution that can be maddeningly difficult to implement; say NO. I’m learning to love those two letters strung together in such a simple, single-syllable utterance. NO. The thing with NO is that it need not be followed by an explanation of why we aren’t the right person or not interested, why it’s not a priority or doesn’t fit into our schedule. Of course, given the scarcity of NOs many people may look surprised and expect an explanation. My favorite reply is simply, “Not at this time.” Who knows? Things could change but right now the answer is NO.
Next time you look at your calendar or to-do list and cringe at some of those items you keep putting off, think about these five reasons why you might feel that way and then take steps to defeat the problems keeping you from excelling at the things your were designed to do.
Farewell to my friend Couch O’Kitty
My lovely cat, Couch O’Kitty, left this life today to go snuggle with the angels. I often thought that he would have been most content if I would have agreed to carry him around in a little papoose all day–that’s how much he loved to be cuddled and petted. He was a May 3, 1999 Tornado survivor who was both stubborn and gentle. He will be greatly missed, but I’m glad I got to share his life with him. Enjoy the video montage.
Happy 4th of July!
more info: Fourth of July is Independence Day from usa.gov
Beefing up the bucket list
Yesterday, Parade Magazine published a piece called “America’s Bucket List 2011.” They said it was a list of “essential experiences every American should have.” I must be a good American because I’ve done all but four items on the list, but I probably won’t be adding those to my bucket list any time soon. The four I’ll skip are:
- #2 Watch a lawn mower race. I know people who go to lawn mower races. Does that count?
- #10 Volunteer to be a poll worker on election day. I won’t rule this one out forever. However, in my precinct the poll workers are all pushing 80 years old. I’ll wait another 25 or 30 years and then volunteer so I fit the demographic.
- #14 Learn the second verse of our national anthem. Why? My brain is tasked with keeping track of more vital information. I don’t need any trivia to keep track of.
- #26 Write a gratitude letter to a teacher. This one has value. Unfortunately, the only teacher I would have anything worthwhile to say to was my college adviser and speech professor who committed suicide a couple of years after I graduated. He showed me that I really could do what I wanted and that technology wasn’t all bad. I’ll have to sit and chat with him in another life.
To replace these four items, I’ll add four of my own:
- Live in the Florida Keys. It’s a beautiful place to vacation, but vacations are too short. Someday I want to send all my winter coats to the thrift shop and never buy another one. I want a wardrobe full of nothing by shorts, tank tops and flip flops. I may have been born in “Almost Heaven” West Virginia, but the Keys sound like heaven to me.
- Live “off the grid.” And I want to do it without moving to the middle of nowhere. Surely there are ways even city folks can transition from reliance on traditional utilities to more self-sufficient means? If I lived in the Keys I’d be able to cross home heating and cooling off the energy consumption list. Water and electricity would be the only needs to conquer.
- Learn Spanish. A useful skill whether living here in Oklahoma or in the Keys. Sorry, but I can’t get on the English-only bandwagon. Isn’t it odd that the U.S. is the only advanced nation whose educated classes don’t know how to speak another language? Yesterday, after the French Open, I listened as Roger Federer, a native German, addressed the crowd in perfect French; Rafael Nadal addressed the crowd in English and then in his native Spanish. American arrogance contributes to American ignorance. We shouldn’t wonder that our schools churn out a bunch of spoiled, half-literate young people.
- Win a ribbon at a county fair. I don’t know what category or what fair. But I think it would be a lot of fun!
Happy Childfree Day to Me
…today, May 8, 2011, is Mother’s Day in the United States. It’s a day when people take time to show their appreciation to their moms. Some don’t even particularly like their moms, but they buy the cards and the flowers anyway. Last night, on Mother’s Day eve, the card and flower sections at Wal-mart were jammed with people who had waited until the last minute to decide whether or not they wanted to get something for their mother.
Lucky for me, no human being has to spend any time wondering if I deserve their thanks on Mother’s Day. I never had any children. By choice. Not by accident.
I’ve read many blog posts and Facebook notes about Mother’s Day. Not a few have acknowledged those women who do not have children. However, none has really hit the mark for me or a whole host of my non-mom friends. We don’t get teary-eyed when we see other women with their babies. We don’t feel any great desire to “mother” anyone. We don’t regret our lack of children. We don’t feel lonely. We don’t wish circumstances had been different. We aren’t still waiting for the right guy or the right time. We haven’t spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments and finally resigned ourselves to being childless and unfulfilled.
We simply do not want children.
Believe it or not, that is an extraordinarily difficult decision to make in the very mommy-centric United States. I know that the opinion towards a woman who chooses not to have children ranges from suspicion to scorn to pity. I know this because those opinions have all been made known to me by some well-meaning but misguided acquaintances. A short list of some of the accusations/comments:
1. You must be gay.
2. Why do you hate children?
3. You’ll regret it when you get old and there is no one to take care of you.
4. You are selfish.
5. You’re denying God’s purpose for your life.
6. You must have had a terrible childhood.
7. Your mother must have been cold and distant.
8. You are psychologically imbalanced. You need counseling.
9. Aren’t you lonely?
My answers:
1. I’m straight.
2. I like children and children like me.
3. Please visit a few nursing homes and discover the hundreds of elderly women (and men) whose children never visit them.
4. It is impossible to be selfish unless my actions are causing someone else’s needs to go unmet.
5. I think I’m in good company with Katharine Hepburn, Louisa May Alcott, Beatrix Potter, Helen Keller, Amelia Earhart, Mother Theresa, Betty White, Jane Addams, Emily Bronte, and Anna Jarvis—yes, the woman who campaigned for Mother’s Day was never a mother.
6. I had a happy childhood.
7. My mother is the best mom ever.
8. I think you are imbalanced for worrying about other people’s choices. Please ask your counselor why you are so worried about whether or not I have children.
9. No.
As I was out and about this Mother’s Day I was wished “Happy Mother’s Day” several times. At lunch I told my long-time companion that the waitress must have thought he was my son. At two local shops I wondered if invisible children were following me around. I guess in middle-age I look like I could be a mom. But I’m not. And I’m glad.
On Mother’s Day this year and all the years to come, remember: Not all women are mothers. Not all women want to be mothers.
Perhaps we ought to save our “Happy Mother’s Day” wishes for our own mothers and not foist it upon every woman who crosses our paths. One, it’s kind of rude to make assumptions about other people’s lives. And two, it’s just plain weird to wish “Happy Mother’s Day” to women who aren’t your mother. Okay, maybe that’s just me. But, seriously, save the greeting for women with whom you have an intimate, motherly relationship and who you know for a fact feel motherly towards you. Otherwise, Mother’s Day is just another manufactured, greeting-card-company-enriching holiday.
Wait, I think that brings me right back to the beginning and all those folks buying Mother’s Day cards and flowers at the last minute…
The Seeds of Hate
I opened my newspaper this morning and immediately saw the headline that Osama Bin Laden had been killed. A picture below the headline showed United States citizens rejoicing in the streets in Washington, D.C. The news and the jubilant reaction gave me pause.
I read coverage in several different papers and was thankful that most provided a brief history of Bin Laden‘s life, including his participation in the Afghan fight against the Soviet Union in the 1980s. U.S. hatred and fear of the Soviets played a major role in the decision to arm what were then termed “freedom fighters.” Bin Laden was our ally in hatred of a common enemy. These were seeds sown of hate and, like all seeds, it produced an abundance of that same bitter emotion in the fertile ground where it was sown.
Some 30 years later hate seeds continue to be sown. The U.S. hates al-Qaida and the Taliban and anyone else it deems terrorists. Our enemies hate us in return. We rejoice when enemy number 1, Osama Bin Laden, is killed—heaping hate on his now lifeless head.
As a Christ-follower I find myself thinking back to the admonition to pray for my enemies and to live in peace. “Blessed are the peacemakers,” Jesus said. I don’t recall him saying anything about rejoicing in the death of any person, not even my arch-enemy—the one who has killed and maimed and terrified friends and family.
Seeds of hate will only bring us more hate.
I pray today for peace; I pray for enemies and friends alike; I pray for all those who call themselves Christian to heed the call to light and love. Walk the extra mile. Give blessings when curses fall on our heads.
Sow seeds of love.
Fessing up
I made a mistake this week. I was installing a new website for a client and accidentally wiped out an existing site…. OOPS!
Not an unheard of goof in the technical world. Although, for me, it is usually a client who accidentally wipes out his own site and calls me in to fix it.
So what do you do when you make a mistake that is going to be obvious to the client as soon as he tries to visit his website? I suppose you could feign innocence. You could shift the blame to a poor hosting interface (why, oh, why, does any hosting company use an interface other than cPanel?). You could say you didn’t do it and the site must have been hacked. You could, in essence, lie.
On the other hand, you could fess up, immediately, before the client even knows there is a problem. That’s the route I took. First, I contacted the hosting company to start a ticket to get the site backups restored. Then, I contacted the client to own up to my error.
You know what? The client was actually understanding and gracious. I didn’t get screamed at. I didn’t get called names. And, less than 24 hours later, the site was back up.
I don’t recommend duplicating this mistake. However, when the inevitable human error occurs, I do recommend fessing up no matter what the potential consequences.
Media Inquiries
